I made a sincere promise to avoid the likes of the Frozen One, mostly because there really isn't much more to say that already hadn't been said: bitter palate, bizarre scoring system, corporate shilling, will review for freebies, blatant bias toward high scores, ad nauseum. Scary really when you consider the dearth of real, independent and pure rum sites. But having kept the promise I received an email from a respected poster who simply begged me to have at it again - for the simple reason...
He's left the reservation again, lol.
Now I'm not one to reject a sincere and credible request so I'll start here and finish with his annual "awards" later. As for now, the Frozen One has been slowly but surely smothering us with a seemingly unending series called "The Top Thirty Rums of 2012".
I mean really, WTF is going on here? Has he been influenced by F. Paul Pacults Top 111 spirits of all time (which actually is meaningful)? Or more likely, has he simply run out of freebies to review? You decide. Beginning November 30th, he's been posting the "Top 30" in a "countdown", beginning with number 30, and counting down at a rate of one or two "award winners" a day. He's now down to number 7, for a total of 23 "awards" packed into nearly three weeks. Based on his frozen freebie conveyor belt, the Hairy Fairy would normally have "reviewed" about nine or ten spirits, but his output has slowed to bout half that. Indeed, in the last week there was but one review rather than his typical three.
So what is one to do at a review site when the freebies are slowing down? Yup, you're exactly right. Post yet another made-up "award", this time officially called the "2012 Top 30 Rum Awards". This doesn't even count his other "best of" awards which total 31 for his "2012 Best of Rum, Part 2" - and, AND - yet another 20 (!) from the "2012 Best of Rum, Part 1".
That's eight-one rum hummers for 2012! Seriously, 81 "awards" in 2012? Really? What I want to know is what rums didn't get awards.
This couldn't possibly be payback for his Frozen Freebie Firends, could it? You decide. What's his hope? More freebies? Or maybe, just maybe some distiller will feature one of his many awards in their advertising, or "Oh God, I'm coming!" - a bottle hanger? Or because he just likes awarding things? Your decision.
But let's be fair, there really is some value to this "Countdown". It's better than Lunestra, and way better than counting sheep...
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Capn's Log: Oh, lest I forget the Frozen Hairy One used to get together with a couple buddies, especially to toss down frozen vodka shots and suck down sausages (his "vodka tasting methodology").
He's not the first reviewer to get toasted with friends on a regular basis for "tastings". Still, while getting a buzz on with buds sounds fun, it doesn't really sound "official" and "professional". In his unending efforts to go appear completely commercial, his butt buddies seem to now be called..."In evaluating the spirit I held an informal gathering at my residence, where four friends and I put the spirit through the paces of my review methodolgy. We tried as best we could to observe the rituals and traditions of an old-fashioned Vodka tasting. These were my observations..."
"My Judging Panel"!
Or so I assume. What a hoot! He's knows that the real pro's actually do have judging panels, but that are comprised of selected, recognized and credible international "experts" who either travel to competitions or in one case, are mailed unmarked samples. What they are not are sausage swallowing drinking buddies. But hey, you know what they say about the word "assume" - while I most certainly am The Compleat Idiot, my ass stops at my waist. Usually. So...
Is there now a real "Judging Panel"? If so, just who are they? Or is it the same old bunch of sausage eaters?
