Can't Make This Up Dept: Bottle opening at the Shillery...

[Capn Jimbo]

Seriously, you just can't make this stuff up, lol...


. . . . . . .


Listen. I try - I really do - to ignore the Shillery and the Wolfery (the two rum sites with even a modicum of activity).

Usually this is not too hard, based on the typical "What did you drink/buy today?" types of brainless and boring posts. But then along comes yet another bizarro post that simply begs to be reported. This time...

How to open a Foursquare bottle.

Now I don't know about you, but if you're having trouble opening any bottle, screw or plastic top, or cork, well you too must be screwed too tight. But hey, it's the Shillery. The OP complained about his trials and tribulations opening a Foursquare (great authentic spiced rum by master Richard Seale) bottle...

Monkey (paraphrased): "Loved the rum but it was difficult to open, so I had to use a knife and microwave to open it!"

Can you imagine putting a bottle of rum in a microwave?! What a hoot! And it gets better. Another often seen monkey then suggests a handy tool that will "solve his problem and others too...". And just what is that tool?



Why of course! It's a Shear Magic, 7-1/2 inch, hoof trimmer. No Shillery bar should be without one. No more hammer and chisel. Great for getting into tough bottles, or out of tight bras. A godsend for all the asses there (what with their fast growing hooves)...

And a godsend here too, for you really can't make this stuff up.

[Stefan]

When I can't open the bottle, I usually take it as a sign that maybe I have had enough to drink for the night... That is just me of course!

I can't help wondering about the micro wave. Did he actually try to shoot out the cork with steam pressure by evaporating the content with the micro wave? Must be messy, my wife would kill me if the hangover hadn't already taken care of that. I need to visit the M.o.R. more often, it seems to be an amusing site.

A good rule of thumb is to stop drinking, and posting on the net, when you are so drunk that you can't lay down on the floor without holding on with both hands...


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Capn's Log: What!? The MoR? Surely you aren't confusing the "Shillery" with the MoR, whatever that is? Nope, actually he was trying to melt the wax (the Foursquare 750ml is dipped in and sealed with wax. Another poster really does use a hoof trimmer. You just can't make this shit up...

ps. A better rule of thumb is to sip responsibly and with moderation, don't you think?

[NCyankee]

I just looked at my Foursquare bottle, and I do remember it taking a little bit of work to open - but just a little. Judging by the condition of the seal I just cut enough wax away to expose the perforations in the metal cap. No microwave or hoof trimmer was needed.