It seems that every time I think things couldn't possibly get dumber, yet another thread comes along to prove me wrong. Dumb and dumber. This time it's about taste descriptors.
To begin, let me say that the subject of tasting and descriptors is hardly new, and a subject of innumerable articles and books by all manner of tasters of spirits, wine, beer, chocolate - you name it. But except for my extensive work (see my e-book chapter on the main site), the wacky world of rum - especially at the Shillery - seemingly has no clue whatever.
I am both amazed and ashamed to report this sad thread. It all started with...
I guess he didn't look too hard. "Chapter 4: Rum Tasting for the Compleat Idiot", by me (link), is the most comprehensive guide to tasting rum on the net, period. Now mind you Monkey #1 is a "senior member" who ought to know better, but then again, he's from Canada where everything is mixed with coke.Monkey #1:"What's the word or term for:
1- I call it Stingy but it's when I hold the rum in my mouth and it starts tickling and poking my tongue and some even start to numb my tongue and roof of my mouth.
2- What I experience when swallowing any Rum I have and feels like I'm swallowing something solid the size of a grape. I think it's the alcohol that feels heavy as in weight.
I looked around for a Rum tasting terminology website to expand my tasting vocabulary and found one online but it's for wine and that will have to do for now. However I didn't find what I experience when tasting RUM.
Perhaps you folks can help find the correct term as to what I mean?"
In sum, he needs a word for "stingy" and "numbing", bit also for the sensation of "swallowing a grape". And you thought the Artic Wolf had a strange palate! What is it about Canada anyway? He then adds another question "What does light/Medium/heavy bodied mean exactly? Is it the thickness of the liquid?". But let's defer to the Shillery's barstool experts...
Hooboy! Not the sharpest crayola in the box, his answer is wrong, but it's quite enough for our dear Monkey #1...Monkey #2: "Are we thinking of the term astringent? There once was a tropical/orange rum liqueur a few years back that seemed to always make my tongue go numb. Not a bad product, just weird mouthfeel if you ask me."
No one else tried to help him.Monkey #1: "Thanks for your input Tripdforlife.
I looked up the word Astringent and it's synonyms are sharp, harsh and rigorous. Which describes the taste of Cruzan 9 and Sailor Jerry Navy Spiced Rum for me.
Looking at member's reviews, I don't remember seeing the word Astringent used around therefore I might use it's synonyms (harsh, sharp and rigorous) instead in my notes and description of a RUM I've tasted.
It's just 8am and I read a review of a RUM on another website and the word Astringent came up and already I feel smarter, as I know what it means."
His found definition is wrong, but if he found "astringent" on "another website" (that's what they call The Rum Project at the Shillery), he oughta be smarter. You know what I find amazing? Of course you do...
Two things:
1. That of all the smarty pants, red-assed monkey experts in residence - you know, the Inner Mongolians (like Wolfboy, the Tree, and of course the Preacher, among others) - not even one - shows up to help the poor sucker out.
2. And that the only, equally clueless monkey who did appear didn't know the answer either.
It's the state of rum. Afficianados of wine, beer and truly fine spirits like single malt whiskies, or brandy would find both the question and this dumb and dumber thread - completely laughable.
Bottom line:
"Stingy": actually a better term might be "sharp", but neither really addresses what this monkey is actually tasting. I'd guess he's reacting to the spicy pepperness common to many rums, and which range from a sweeter hot like clove, to a still flavorful black pepper, to a stinging hot white pepper, or even to a burning jalapeno pepperiness. Let's not forget ginger either.
"Numbing": again based on his crude description, it may well reflect the hotter end of the spicy/pepper continuum, more to the white pepper end. The only other possibility might be the alcohol of an overproof.
"Body": What's body, he asks. Simple. Take three glasses - one of water, one of a low fat or skim milk and one of a full fat milk or light cream. Light, medium and heavy bodied.
Oh, and before I forget...
"Astringent": at least in rum is NOT "sharp, harsh and rigorous". Nope. "Astringent" is simply drying and puckery, and is a sensation usually related to the wood tannins absorbed during aging. The most important thing to remember about "astringent" is that it is not a taste - but a sensation (fellow Canadian Artic Wolf has yet to figure this out).
To be fair there are a very few wines that could indeed be called "harsh", but only in the case of extreme acidity. Think spoiled wine. Atringency in rums - when it occurs - is almost always a mild and pleasant dryness. Only Shillery monkeys - who are trained to prefer added sugar and flavorings - would object.
I really hate to say it but this is barely Tasting 101, and are concepts well understood by any reader of this forum. That the self-important Shillery barstool experts either can't or won't respond to this simple question is amazing.
Just another reason rum remains rogue...
