Blind Squirrel Dept: Artic Wolf

[Capn Jimbo]

Even a blind squirrel finds the occasional nut. Conversely...


Even the Artic Wolf occasionally does something nearly right. In this case (and following my lead as always) the Wolf decided to "interview" the Master of Malt at the Morrison Bowmore Distilleries (link). You see, long long ago The Rum Project was the first site to promote email interviews (along with the first live Rum Chat) - quickly copied by the Preacher, and belatedly by the instant nut seeker. As a fan of Bowmore - at least the ones I can afford (Legend and 10 Year) I hoped to find this interesting.

And to a point, I did. Wolfie's last "interview" - with Joy Spence - was a total softball, simply asking open ended questions designed to allow the distillery to spew their usual marketing sops. In this one the Wolfboy tried just a little harder, and pressed just a tiny bit harder, hoping to nail down the McClelland line of bargain malts, some of the fewer spirits he actually buys.

Bowmore gave the usual evasive answers, which the panting (and pantyless) predator failed to follow up. Although he opened the subject of the Scottish Whiskey Act regarding use of oak barrels, he completely missed exploring the opportunity to contrast the Act with the relative non-regulation of rum.

Nor did he cover trends, market position, new products, et al, so why do the interview at all? That's easy - is it because it looks good, and or may open the door to some free product? You decide.

The good news? It was not a complete sop - and this time he got to actually lick the nut before it once again rolled away...


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Capn's Log: I actually found a few semi-nuggets in this rather long interview:

1. Bowmore claims that their "best practices" limits the previously used barrels' contents to two liters. This may have been Wolfie's attempt to confirm his seemingly bizarre theory that leftover sherry is used to flavor spirits. Of course this is entirely wrong, as this really refers to the absorbed, chemically converted components which are no more wine than what emerges from a dog's raised rear leg. Unasked: does this refer to sherry barrels, or simply their reused whisky barrels? Keeping fully in mind that most barrels are diassembled, refurbished, and reassembled, even retoasted or charred. Hardly any leftover urine there.

To me, a rich vein of questioning was left unasked. The obvious question: is there really leftover sherry sloshing around the bottom of an ex-sherry barrel when it is refilled? Let me save you the trouble, answer: no, non, not, never.

2. Bowmore admits what is already common knowledge - that their aging does not occur on the island, which kind of defeats their marketing claims that all that good Scottish salty sea breeze is so important in imparting its unique seaside character. They attempt to escape the issue by stating that all barrels spend "some time" on the island (what - just long enough to send a truck for them?) but of course, all that it would have taken to nail it was by simply asking "And how longis that?".

I'm sure you're wondering - I am sure am, so in the spirit of being a truly Compleat Idiot, I just may ask the Master Malter...

Two minishards. An improvement? Sure, he's got the "i" anyway...