Expert's Corner: Good advice?

[Capn Jimbo]

Welcome to the "Experts Corner"!


A few of you may be aware of the infamous "Experts Corner". Unlike say, single malts, there are really just a few true experts (think Ralfy or Dave Broom) in rum. What "rum" does have is a crew of commerical or commercially driven websites like the Shillery or the Wolfboy who are too closely tied, or too inexperienced to offer little more than unqualified and unreliable "guidance".

What happens is that these self-proclaimed wonders gain an undeserved reputation, and paint themselves into the "experts corner". Once the misinformed party drinking public decides your advise is valuable, you have been annointed and feel obligated to hold forth.


This Week's Example:

Recently another new rum drinker posted something like this at the Shillery:

"I have tried Kraken, Sailor Jerry, and Pyrate... All three I thought were good... but I still think (they're) stronger than I'd prefer. Any (good) suggestions?"

This from an obvious party drinker. Of course the alpha monkey, represented by the infamous "Lance of Canada", came thundering in on his horse, twisted his mountie monkey mustache, and held forth in a wonderful imitation of knowing advice...

Lance: ""Good" is (vague).... the possibilities:

1. Are you sipping or mixing?
2. Are you prepared to spend some money?
3. What's the availability around AK?
4. Do you prefer dark or light, sweet or dry, old or young?

Essentially, if you're looking, you really have to look, read, check, and sample, a lot.

Let's dissemble this blather. "Good" is anything but vague. One could discuss purity, the basic styles, and the notions of harmony, complexity, integration, and development. Or simply suggest a few good reference rums from the basic styles.

Lance is actually promoting his faux division of sipping and mixing rums. At his website Lance has expressed the belief that any "single digit" rum (ie less than 10 years old) are "mixers", and that sipping quality doesn't happen until after 15 years. Of course, this is ridiculous, with the "sweet spot" of rum aging being 7 to 10 years (with some great sippers that are even younger). Lance also expresses the usual price and "super-premium" bias, as revealed in our Reviewer's Review of Liquorature. His bias has been changing lately, but apparently still exists.

Last he seems to divide "rum" into sweet or dry, old or young, and asks the novice for his preference. Hint: the rank novice doesn't have a preference. Further, what kind of divisions are these? And his final advice - to "look, read, check, and sample, a lot" - offer little real specific guidance.


Bottom Line:

Until these "experts" stop posturing and confusing people, and start addressing the basic styles, advice (really questions) as posed offer less than nothing to the well meaning and interested novices who could otherwise benefit.

What advice should we offer? What would really help a novice get started? How about something like this...

Sir, I really don't know what you will ultimately like, but a good start is to experience a good rum from the five basic styles:

Barbadian Style: Seales Ten Year or Mount Gay Black or Extra Old. Classic, complex and well done, widely respected rums.

Jamaican Style: Appleton Extra. Aromatic, full bodied, good pot still element.

Demeraran Style: El Dorado 12 year. Per Dave Broom "subtle, soft, medium bodied".

Cane Juice Style: All the other styles are made from molasses. Barbancourt Five Star: a world class cane juice based rum, and very affordable. A bit dry, and reflecting their cane juice basis.

Cuban Style: Ron Matusalem Gran Reserva 15 Year, or Bacardi 8 Year. This style is smooth, lighter and very drinkable.

Sir, in closing you must first get to know these fine rums of the five basic styles. Remember, these are "styles", not countries of origin. Only then will you be able to really understand rum and be able to determine for yourself what is "good" for you. Although you may not understand these terms now, begin to consider the ideas of harmony and consistency, complexity, integration and style - from the nose, to the taste and through the finish.

Good luck!


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Capn's Log: How would you advise this novice?

[da'rum]

Mate, I'd answer him in a similar fashion as your example, perhaps without the 'sir' appellation but never the less with a suggestion to try all styles of rum and perhaps a short overview of each.......BUT,

I also get a little irked with people who say 'I like rum, tell me what's good and I'll buy it'. I mean I didn't do that, did you? Did anyone else here?

In fact it's a silly question to ask on the open forum anyway, he'd be better off reading a bit then deciding on a member who he believes has his shit in one sock and sending him a pm asking for recommendations. Better still read try buy like we all did, he'll buy good rums he doesn't like and he'll buy rums that are horrible but he'll also hit on some winners. At the very least he'll have a reference base on which to judge his rum buying future on. At the moment he's keen but he's lazy.

Now moving on to the EXPERTS:

The hyperglobalmeganet is rife with people with varying levels of knowledge who are members of forums and who are also best described as arrogant and pompous oxygen thieves. They inhabit nearly every forum regardless of the subject and they suck.
They respond in condescending manners, they belittle and do their very best to appear as they have a wealth of knowledge that they find onerous to share. Sometimes when I read the posts of these tools I can almost hear the contemptuous sighs of the author from the written script.
Often these people are actually well educated in and around their given subject but they are a weird kettle of fish in the way that they make it obvious that they are knowledgeable but it pains them to share such knowledge with anyone they deem slightly less knowledgeable as themselves. They join a forum which is about sharing of information, camaraderie and enjoyment of a thing/subject that they cherish then act as though sharing with others is a chore What they really want is adulation which they'll never really receive from a forum so they become little turds instead.

The shonky reviewers, the dodgy additive full lolly water makers and the elitist egomaniacs are the reason in part why this forum exists because the rubbish at the alternatives was a bit too thick. It is a shame traffic here is slow but perhaps a sign of the non verbal diarrhoeal context of this place (I'm doing my best to buck the trend).

So in conclusion to my multi directional 4 dram rant, I think this guys post should be answered politely. He should be directed how he could reach his own conclusions. He should be encouraged to explore the many varied varieties of rum and report back with his own experiences.

The end


*******
Capn's Log: Thank you for saying what really needs to be said, and saying it so well. A passion forward rant full of needed truth. As an aside if 4 drams of a certain rum help in the process, I need to buy some! Personally MGXO, Barbancourt Five Star, Pusser's and occasionally a Red Breast or a good Islay does it for me. What was it?

[da'rum]

Thanks Cappin,

Last night it was Barbancourt 5 star with the last dram being a Centenario Gran Legado because its sweeter than the B5 and I felt like dessert

Cheers