What is it with the monkeys anyway? Years ago they all mobbed Zacapa, which was marketed and accepted as "The best rum in the world". Sure. And when a few brave souls including me, insisted the King of Rum was wearing no clothes, our reception was rather cool if not downright visious. You dared not upset the monkeys. Fortunately in the wimpy and wacky world of rum, it takes but a few dissenters to encourage the others, and in less than a year, Zacapa's long reign came to a crushing halt (pun intended), their price dropped up to 40% and it is now recognized as just another Diageo based, seemingly highly altered rum liqueur.
Has it happened again?
Of couuuuuuurse! This time it's the Plantation Rums. First a little historical perspective. Please recall how Sydney Frank took a bottom shelf, get-a-buzz spirit - vodka - and nearly tripled its price simply by marvelous marketing. Sydney's scheme included establishing the distillery in name-droppable Cognac, France; designing a super premium Grey Goose bottle, and marketing the living crap out of it in bars, and key publication. The same old vodka was now presented as a super premium and prestigious product and guess what?
It worked.
Back to Plantation...
Cognac Ferrand was for years a company that produced, uh, cognac and armagnac which quite naturally, used French oak barrels. At a point a market developed for the used sherry barrels for various whiskies and even a few rums that decided to use sherry barrel aging. Like all good marketing companies, Cognac Ferrand came to the conclusion that they could use their own leftover barrels and perhaps they too could market rum. But they had a problem.
Distilling and aging rum weren't in the cards. Oh well. But not so fast!
If nothing else marketing guys believe they can sell refrigerators to eskimos if only - like Sydney Frank - you package it right and tell a good tale (we all know monkeys like a little tail). So here's a little tale of rum about how a company might accomplish this:
1. A company who didn't and wouldn't actually produce a rum still knew it was easy to buy bulk rum, but hey - that wouldn't be very special. Hell, there are already cargo ships brimming with bulk rums being bottled and getting cool names and labels in Princeton, MN, right? But marketing mavens will always find a way.
2. A bottler could still buy aged rums that had already been produced and aged in the Caribbean, but buy it in small lots. But again, a problem. Big lots, small lots, the public is aware that most of the rums are altered anyway, so identifying the actual distillers is fraught with marketing risk. But these are not just mavens, but these are Super Mavens (patent pending) we're talking about. I oughta know, I was one. The answer:
3. That company wouldn't actually have to identify the distillers - which might backfire - but rather they could simply identify the year and country and keep the actual distiller secret! Yeh, that's it! And then plug the rums as if the country or origin is really meaningful. But even that is not enough if like Sydney, such a company would want to premiumize their prices. How bout' naming it something traditional and special, like "Plantation" (what lovely imagery of happy, rum-producing slaves!) and thus surely worth premium prices? Hmmm. But that's not all.
4. Yup, the coup de grace would be to wait until the virtual last minute (just-in-time production) and let's see - yes! - then ship the bulk rum to France (!) and uh, finish them in super special sherry barrels (!!) for the amazing period of an actual month or three, not that the actual time would really be emphasized. That oughta do it! Never you mind that a couple months in worn out sherry barrels accomplishes very little beyond supporting such marketing.
Bottom Line:
As for Plantation Rums, it seems they've learned this Sydney Frank lesson. Their marketing story is clever. First of all is their company's history and location: Cognac Ferrand, just like Frank, is located in France, a well promoted factoid. Next is a story about their "valuable" used sherry barrels which conjures up the vision of sherry aged single malt whiskies. And last is the notion that they travel far and wide, meticulously tasting and buying barrels of exemplary aged product from various Carribean distillers, then transporting these very special, selected barrels for "additional aging" in France in the aforementioned sherry barrels.
And as for the monkeys?
The red-assed primates bought the whole bunch of bananas and are now treating Plantation as they once did Zacapa: a superstar series of - are you sitting down? - collectible rums! I'm serious! The primates now eagerly await and discuss each new "bottling" and then spend untold shekels to obtain hard-to-find "issues" to add to their shelf of Plantations. Certain alpha monkeys who get a really rare one then lord it over the beta banana munchers. Kindly gag me with a spoon. The big question:
Are the monkeys onto something? Or have they been banana-boozled?
Personally, we long ago obtained a number of Plantations on close-out, back before their marketing really caught on. The couple we tried were decent but not outstanding and one in particular - labeled Gran Reserve - was suspciously colored and really tasted altered. Another internationally known expert we respect - independent and very talented - recently wrote me to say this...
But let's face it: these primates are far from the sharpest machetes in the monkey jungle. Needless to say, the Frozen One of the North is not much better as he seems to salivate over every new offering. As for The Rum Project, I tend to believe (name withheld), a gentleman and e-friend who has earned my trust and respect over the years. I don't doubt him for a millisecond when he stated the "Plantations" are altered and simply not that popular in his neck of the world."The Plantation series of rums are not all that popular here at least, mainly because they taste no different from so-called mainstream rums in general: Far too much added caramel & sweetness take away any interesting personality the rums might otherwise have. This is for sure not due to cognac-casking, but direct additives of sugar, and colour. Or perhaps the owner of the brand purchases poor quality bulk rum to begin with, don't know."
Friends - this one is worthy of examination by our talented posters. Your opinions are more than welcome...
