AA Dept: Has the Artic Wolf hit bottom?

Post by **Capn Jimbo** » Tue Jan 15, 2013 9:30 am

The lifecycle of websites...

You know you've hit bottom when:

1. After close to 400 spirits, you seemingly run low of freebies to review.

2. In addition to your annual "awards", you invent yet another - this time called "The Top Thirty Rum Countdown " - thus giving out roughly 80 distiller-pleasing, suitable-for-framing awards. What I want to know is just who didn't get awarded?

3. You create yet another "Countdown", this time - wait for it! - a countdown of the Wolf's top 25 favorite quarterbacks!! I'm dead serious. These to be presented in another delayed but site-filling countdown fashion. I mean seriously, WTF?! What this has even remotely to do with rum or spirits is quite beyond me, but obviously not beyond the Wolfboy, who surely had some madness behind his method. We must now endure yet another "countdown" in just the last few months. Wow! Double wow!!

I congratulate this clever Canooky for perhaps the most obscure and unrelated act of webmasterbatery I have ever seen. There can be no higher master of such baiting.

"Countdowns" are great time wasters, but for the Wolfmeister, perhaps an excellent way to add life and exciting new posts to keep the natives happy in the absence of reviews? Other common webmaster ploys are "revisiting a review", or posting other terribly outdated, borrowed or recycled material. But to many people this kind of tomfoolery may be a sign of the end.

Having run a number of websites, one gets to the point where there really isn't that much more to say about a subject. In those cases I became rightfully bored, and simply made a sort of "final post" stating this fact, and taking my leave, and noting my intention to leave the site up as a handy reference and public service to newbies.

Back to method, madness and mendacity...

Lissen up. It's important to give anyone - even a Canooky - the benefit of the doubt. Canadians are really rather nice pudgy and pettable, friendly and neighborly people who know how to really puck around - but in a nice way. In the end, there must surely be rationale behind even the most confusing actions. For example, let's speculate...

1. The Wolf has somehow confused his sports memorabilia business with his rum and spirits reviewing website?

2. He has noted the current crisis in rum, wherein the massive subsidies to the USVI and Puerto Rico threaten the existence of all other Caribbean rums, but fears offending big distributors and the Big Three?

3. He is exhibiting the typical Canooky sense of humour, eh?

But I kid the Furry One. Unrelated countdowns are a simply magnificent idea and lord knows that any website can benefit from such clever techniques to cover up our lack of new and interesting posts. So I beseech my wonderfully creative and intelligent readers/posters to hereby waste their time, and herein suggest clever "Countdowns" we might consider. Special recognition will be given to the most inane, the most irrelevent and the most timewasting "countdowns" suggested.

Class, you may begin...

RT · Post by RT » Tue Jan 15, 2013 11:02 am

How about Cap'n Jimbo's all-time top 25 funniest posts about Wolfie?

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Capn's Log: Excellent, but we must always remember to deal in good humour, er humor about this fine gentleman and his fine and uniquely entertaining website. If this one is chosen, our merry band of idiots must choose the posts...

Post by **Capn Jimbo** » Tue Jan 15, 2013 11:58 am

Canooky countdown correction...

As any of our sometimes OCD posters can verify, sometimes it pays to be obsessive. On his front teaser page, the Wolf stated this:

Wolf: "This post is just for pure fun. A complete change of pace and direction intended solely for my own benefit. My Top 25 List of the best current NFL Quarterbacks counted down from number 25 to number 1."

Having just been through his "countdown" of the "Top Thirty Rums" (which took about three weeks as I recall), it was certainly logical to assume we were in for yet another such extended treat. But as part of my ongoing and unceasinging efforts to continually doo-due-diligence, I decided to click through to the inside article where I discovered...

The whole list, yes counted down but no, not over several weeks as before, but all together on one page. This of course, changes the thrust of the OP, but only to a certain degree. We no longer have to endure weeks of an agonizing, slow release of quarterbacks (my, but that sounds dirty) - and perhaps the freebie conveyor belt is not as empty as one would guess. But OTOH a front page containing a "countdown" article about NFL quarterbacks, along with an old reprinted interview and two leftover "Top 30" posts might still be considered "fill material". Is it?

You decide. But our own Countdown goes on, and in blatant imitation of our Canooky friend, will likewise be restricted to this one thread, ,lol.

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Capn's Spoiler Alert: Ben Roethlisberger - our fave - is #2 to Tom Brady? Not.

da'rum · Post by **da'rum** » Tue Jan 15, 2013 12:54 pm

10 rums we think are a tad bitter?

10 rums on in threat of extinction?

10 reasons Diageo can't be trusted?

10 most mind blowing marketing product descriptions

10 reasons why pot is better than column

10 best uses for coke

10 things to do with a chicken, two cats and a roll of duct tape.

never fear the world is full with bad tempered critical thinkers that like a rant
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LJ13MbHqTtc

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Capn's Log: Lovely. I think I'll go back to my champagne, eggs and toast now...

RT · Post by RT » Tue Jan 15, 2013 1:15 pm

Top 10 discontinued Bacardi rum flavors.

NCyankee · Post by **NCyankee** » Wed Jan 16, 2013 4:30 am

Top 10 best words Forrest Cokely uses in his reviews.

I nominate "recherche".

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Capn's Log: I think perhaps his most famous is "sapidity". What an inflated sop, er sap.

Post by **Capn Jimbo** » Wed Jan 16, 2013 9:40 am

In a spirit of humility...

It's important to be humble. This is especially true for moi, perhaps the most intelligent, creative, humourous (Canookie spelling) experienced, thorough and rapaciously effective rum commentators in the Universe. No ordinary idiot, but The Compleat Idiot of Rum. Therefore I nominate "Capn Jimbo's Top Ten Most Idiotic Observations, Positions, Comments and Campaigns". First up...

"Capn's Log? All bark and insufficient bight. WTF does he think, intruding on my post? What an idiot!"

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Capn's Log: Excellent nomination, if I must say so myself. And I have. Again. And again.

NCyankee · Post by **NCyankee** » Wed Jan 16, 2013 3:37 pm

Forrest certainly does seem to be hooked on variants of "sap-" - saporous, saporific.

There are plenty more, I have a decent vocabulary and I was constantly coming across words I had never seen before.

NCyankee wrote:Top 10 best words Forrest Cokely uses in his reviews.

I nominate "recherche".

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Capn's Log: I think perhaps his most famous is "sapdity". What an inflated sop, er sap.

John Willy · Post by **John Willy** » Mon Jan 21, 2013 5:42 pm

How about the the 15 most alphabetically significant imitations of sapphic quantitative verse relevant to positions of the Kama Sutra?