Some time ago in our Brown Tongue Department, I pointed out the especially blatant regurgitation of Panama Red 108 - a new and completely invented overproof spiced rum (emphasis added, stay tuned). The link is (here).
In that post you were treated to what appears to be (a) a completely made up back story (which the distributor failed to confirm), and (b) the unapologetic shilling and regurgitation of marketing copy by the Rum Connection and our bumbling Canadian Wolfboy.
Of course it gets worse.
Luis Ayala (a for play, er pay promoter/consultant) attended a roll out on the west coast (of Florida) and engaged in a circle hump with the blender and distributor/inventor. His thrilling description was naturally used by the brand's promoters. Further, RnD had literal orgasms over the product which they described as:
"A jammy texture reminiscent of black cherries... is supported by a buxom full-body before the honey and pepper finish ends... dry on the lips. Panama Red is truly one sultry lady... a blend of five year old rums from different batches, some aged in 220 liter casks and others in 500 liter casks...
“Don Pancho”... has given us another winner, this time in an overproof spiced rum. ...one of the worlds best overproof/spiced rums."
Now it gets really interesting...
The way rum myths get spread is like blended whisky gets sold and promoted. Since about 90% of all whiskies sold are blended, most whisky is produced for sale, and promoted to - yup - other distillers, blenders and bottlers. They could care less about the whisky drinker, as long as their primary customer - the blender - keeps buying.
In the wacky world of rum what you have are a bunch of circle jerks feeding each other. The distillers provide free product and nifty introductory dinners and unveilings for the trade, and their reliable web-shillers. The web reviewer/shillers regurgitate marketing copy and dutifully provide softball, if not glowing reviews. The distillers then buy tables at the shillers' "rum fest and 'competition'". They all quote each other. Circle jerks, and everybody's happy except...
Us. The idiot consumers who place undue trust in this loaded system, and are forced to work hard to get real information and completely unbiased reviews. Trust me, if you publish negative reviews you don't get invited, and the free product conveyor belt comes to a squealing halt.
And even worse!
Recently the Artic Wonder published his self-created "2011 Awards", based on his self-created group review, based on his self-created "methodology" and unusual "scoring system" (that actually scored the friggin bottle!), based on a seemingly additive-immune, bitter mouth, tannin-flavored palate, ad nauseum, and...
Deemed "Panama Red 108 Overproof Rum... the Best Rum from Central America"!?
I'm aghast. Really. Remember how I emphasized that RnD - bless their souls - categorized this as one of the few spiced overproofs? Accordingly this product belongs in either of those categories, namely "flavored/spiced rums" and/or "overproof rums". Hey, the Frozen Wonder don't need no steenking categories. It tastes good, he likes it, and "best rum" it shall be.
Look. Overproof rums are rarely aged. Why? Because their ultimate destination is almost always for mixted, drink-til-you-drop concoctions. The appropriate competitors would really be rums like Wray & Nephews Overproof, Bacardi and Cruzan 151's, or perhaps the new Lemonhart. Actually the closest competitor is really Sailor Jerry's Spiced Overproof at 92 proof.
But the "Best Rum" from Central America!!??
Gag me with a spoon. There are so many fine, fine rums from this region that this will not hold. Even though he reviewed them, the Hairy One ignores all the Ron Abuelos (including the 3,7, 12 and Centuria), Zaphra, the Flor de Cana's (5, 7, 12, 18.). Hell, he even ignores Rod, er Ron de Jeremy, lol. Oh I could go on, but why bother.
It's the way it is. All good, right?
