First off, a Happy New Year to all and especially to the Preacher and the Frozen Bitterboy, without whom I'd have less to write about. Writers need subjects, like the Bachelor needs bachlorettes. And like that show, please note that the producers always include a few bozos for shits and giggles. But (and like last year) I continue to mumble and digress.
I was going to post a "best of" summary, as well as New Year resolutions, and I still might. Like the Preacher' prostate needs, it Depends...
Appleton 20 Year Special Edition
Turns out there's a one-percenter liquor emporium called the "Park Avenue Liquor Shop, surprisingly located on Madison Avenue in New York City. No matter, the one-percenters don't give a rat's ass, as long as the establishment (a) has a good address and (b) presents well. The Goldsteins' Park Avenue Liquor Shop does both.
Now to maintain their 1% image they know their snooty clientele digs exclusivity, so natch, they cater to this:
A nice concept. Although their single cask purchases are usually for noble spirits like single malts, they decided to try purchasing a rare barrel of fine rum. It would appear they did. The rum...
Park Avenue: From time to time we try a spirit we like so much - we purchase the entire cask. Usually you can find around 12 bottles that are sold exclusively at our store. While most are Single Malt Scotches, we have recently added a proprietary Mezcal and Cognac. When a customer asks for a gift idea that's, "different" - showing them a bottle they can't get anywhere else is a great place to start.
A 20 year old from Appleton Estates, personally selected by the respected Joy Spence.
Now Joy Spence has the dual attributions of (a) knowing her rums and (b) is nobody's fool. You can believe she chose a good one, especially knowing that it would be widely promoted and noted by the cognoscenti of New York. But what she didn't count on were the Shillery Monkeys...
The monkeys chatter...
Two of the few remaining Shillery monkeys who still post - and who live in NYC - leaped on this very limited bottling. This is how you maintain your position as cage alphas. They smugly posted their intent and shouted out for the watching world to note that they were "...now proud owners of bottles 72 and 144 in this run."
Oooga, oooga! But after unsuccessfully trying to peel the bottles, they finally managed to find the cork and slurped some. To their dismay...
What's wrong with this picture? Is the rum overpriced? Sure, but that's why they bought it. Is is really a hot, dry earthy and uninteresting dram?Leisurely Masterbater: "...definitely 90 proof ...pretty hot ...very dry ...but no doubt it is an Appleton rum. I think the price is more a reflection of rarity (single cask, one retailer) than anything else. Don't take this wrong ...I do like it but ...not the "best rum evah"
Tabbouleh: "I too was underwhelmed ...in the end, it's not worth it ...hot, dry and molasses seeped earth, without much development."
I think not. Here's the reality...
1. Most rums are cheepie column-stilled product, made rum-like with all manner of unlabeled additives. The profile that the taste engineers create is not that of real and pure rum. The Appleton 20 year is a real and pure rum, at barrel strength. No added monkey business, and thusly not good monkey chow.
2. Better rums are blended, may still contain unlabeled additives, but may contain a bit of real, pure and tasty pot-stilled rum for flavor. Spence is famous for her blending and adroit addtition of fine pot-stilled rums to create the fine Appleton blends. This is one of the rums she might add. The monkeys are used to blends.
3. Neither monkey reported adding water to this 90 proof, barrel strength rum. Single malt afficianados know better and although they may begin their tasting at full strength, these tasters always add water to find the sweet spot. Monkeys don't - for them it's just peel 'n eat. Neat.
Red assed bottom line...
I have no doubt whatever that Park or Madison Avenue received and sold a very fine barrel chosen personally by Joy. I also have no doubt that these monkeys have little understanding or appreciation of fine, real and truly long aged spirits (like the Frozen Bitterboy who recently trashed a respected 40 year old single malt because it was "bitter"). Long-aged spirits are difficult to produce, and hard to appreciate. The many good ones are exquisite, but different and demanding.
Rum swilling simpletons have neither the chops nor the experience to recognize or appreciate the real thing. To be fair it's hard to produce a very old rum in the tropics where aging is very rapid; still, this barrel was hand selected so you can forget that one...
And as for these two monkeys. Havabanana! They peel easier.
