Pikimal - at least the "mal" part is right...

[Uisge]

Rank site, Pikimal is, and I do mean "rank" , paired with "mal" aka "bad" in English (but of course, you all knew that, didn't ya ).

I found this site after finding a schnapps posing as an "Whiskey infused with Irish green apple"...don't ask me why I found it, other than I was caught up in scratching my curiosity itch once I found it listed on a wine and spirits store website that I have used in the past.

I SHOULD have sent the good Captain a pm about the Mickey Finn® story on their site (you go ahead and look it up if you'd like to learn more about that) just to see the rant en passant from it

ANYhoo, back to what I found a few results down in my search for the Irish green apple and whiskey concoction, which was a site named Pikimal.

It is a ranking site of many things, and to put on a good front it uses this boilerplate message;
Welcome to the Blah whatever it is one is looking for Rum Piki, the best place to decide between blah/ rums . Blah/Rum is description of blah an alcoholic beverage distilled from sugarcane or a sugarcane byproduct such as molasses. It is usually aged in oak barrels, which - along with place of origin - gives rum its characteristic flavors.. This Piki makes use of more than 9,100 facts (oOOOo, numbers of facts!!!) about 624 rum (oOOOo, MORE numbers!!!!)- which is slightly modified to be relevant to whatever it is one might be searching for, which I noted in this case, are rums.

While it would appear to be a site that uses statistics and rigorous scientific method to "rank" all manner of things, the problems with the results shown are the samples are flawed (I noticed on a search for whiskies that there were many no longer available/produced, even though there was a bar to "Buy on Amazon!" above the description), there are few, if any, actual reviews, there is plenty of spamming by bots to push an item higher up the listing with no limiting of said actions, and lastly, if you don't like the results listed, why you can change it to meet your preferences! How neat is THAT?

Oh....but that wipes out any subjective measurements, with the exception of what few things Pikimal allows, such as filters for "usage", "quality", "type of rum" (which actually is helpful and valid), "price filter" (extremely cheap?Under $1 per shot? Under $15-$20-$30-$40-$50-expensive?), "origin" again useful, and lastly "Popular ratings" ("smooth, "great tasting" and "high overall quality").

All things which have only the meaning one decides to put into it or them.

Oh my head hurts Just say "No!" to Pikimal

I'll leave the rants to the Cap'n


*******
Capn's Log: The U-man speaketh, and I'm glad he did. Actually this post was born in a private email from him, wherein I encouraged him to share his observations with the universe. He has done so, and we are all better for it.

Stay tuned for my "rant"...

[Capn Jimbo]

OK, let's rip it up...


Here's how Pikiimal slices and dices "rum" to arrive at their rather bizarre "ratings" If you can actually explain how such ratings have any value whatsoever, kindly have at it. Here goes...

• Type of Rum
o Quality Rums
o Flavored Rums
o Aged Rums
o Gold Rums
o Spiced Rums
o Rums for Rum and Coke
o Dark Rums
o Low Proof Rums
o Silver Rums
•
o Best Rums
o
• Usage
o Cheap
o Cocktails
o Cooking
o Daiquiris
o Drinking straight
o Flaming drinks
o Mai Tais
o Mojitos
o Parties
o Pina coladas
o Rum and Cokes
o
• Quality
o High quality
o San Francisco 2011 double gold
o San Francisco 2011 gold
o San Francisco 2011 silver
o San Francisco 2011 bronze
o San Francisco 2010 double gold
o San Francisco 2010 gold
o San Francisco 2010 silver
o San Francisco 2010 bronze
o
• Type of Rum
o Flavored
o Spiced
o Silver
o Aged
o Dark
o Gold
o
• Price Filter
o Extremely cheap
o Under $1 per shot
o Under $15
o Under $20
o Under $30
o Under $40
o Under $50
o Most expensive
o
• Origin
o Antigua and Barbuda
o Australia
o Barbados
o Belize
o Bermuda
o Brazil
o Canada
o Costa Rica
o Cuba
o Dominican Republic
o Ecuador
o England
o Fiji
o Philippines
o France
o Grenada
o Guadeloupe
o Guatemala
o Guyana
o Haiti
o India
o Jamaica
o Martinique
o Mauritius
o Mexico
o Nicaragua
o Panama
o Peru
o Puerto Rico
o Reunion Island
o Cayman Islands
o Virgin Islands
o Saint Lucia
o Scotland
o Spain
o Trinidad and Tobago
o Venezuela
o
• Popular Ratings
o Smooth
o Great tasting
o High overall quality

Folks, what you have here is the kind of listing you might find at a distribution warehouse. It's now easy to understand how they can claim "...9,100 facts about 640 rums". Even though 9,100 seems like a lot of facts, it's only about 14 facts per rum, most of which are of little use, like color, price, country of origin and, uh, "usage" (?).

Useless to me.

The only real ratings, if you want to call them that are those that refer to "smooth", "great tasting" and "high overall quality". Pretty vague, don't you agree? Of course you do. And although Picmal does allow posters to include comments, darned if I could find many. However, I can imagine that the rum reps must have spent many a night pumping their rums up.

But like a penis pump, it's not real and won't last...

[Capn Jimbo]

How the concept works - or fails...


Here's the deal. It appears that Pikimal picks out the categories (or "factors") that will be ranked. These are shown above. The cool part - as defined by Piki at least - is that you then get to "customize" them.

Wow! or not wow!

Apparently how this start-up will make money is to sell your preferences as a form of useful marketing data, to the companies "rated". They also provide commercial, for sale links to each product. Apparently there is a lot of competition in the comparison business, and the lightweight Piki guy hopes that your "customization" will make his different.


Now let's talk customization.

Using what I consider the useless "facts" and categories set up in the Piki, you get to "customize" them. BTW, it's really pretty hard to get to the page where you can "Pikirank" them (link to Rum Piki).

If you go to this page, you now get to pick which categories or "factors" are important to you. For example you might select "best rums" "parties", "high quality", "aged", "under $30", "smooth" and "great tasting".

Guess what you get?

But first a few more questions. Did any well known aged rum, say like Barbancourt 5 Star, Mount Gay Black, Ron Matusalem Gran Reserva, or El Dorado 12/15 show up?

Nope.

The "best" aged party rums under $30 that the Piki picks are all - gulp - flavored rums. They are:

1. Bacardi Grand Melon
2. Cruzan Guava
3. Bacardi Dragon Berry Strawberry
4. Clarke's Court Melon
5. Blackbeard Spiced
6. Mount Gay Vanilla
7. Captain Morgen Coconut
8. Whaler's Vanille
9. Bacardi Big Apple
10. Cruzan Black Cherry

Ugh. Is this the kind of dinner party you had in mind? Or a freshman mixer? Mind you, I specifically did not select "flavored rum" as a "factor". This is terrible. And even if were remotely valid, where are some truly fine flavoreds like Brinley's? Garbage.

Gee, maybe it was my "parties" usage that f'd things up, so I eliminated that factor and tried again:

1. Appleton V/X
2. Old Port Deluxe
3. Appleton Extra 12
4. Cruzan Black Strap
5. Ron Zacapa 23
6. Old Monk XXX
7. Kwèyòl Spiced Rum
8. Ron Zacapa Grand Reserve Solera 23
9. Ron Abuelo 7 Yr.
10. Diplomatico Anejo

A little better but not much. A mixing rum and a cheesy, little known Indian concoction head the list now. Another mixer is fourth, and a flavored rum is sixth. For some strange reason the Piki lists Z-23 twice. Only two rums actually belong in this list. Worse yet, the Piki gets some of its 9100 rum facts wrong. Z-23 is said to be "23 years old".

BTW, I then clicked on Z-23 and was shocked to find that their top 10 rating seem to be based on - wait for it! - just one rater. Some consensus, eh? But hey, I could be wrong, about par for The Compleat Idiot.

Last, I added "high overall quality" to my list. The result: pretty much the same list, just shuffled around a bit and now headed by friggin Old Port Deluxe. Please! They shoot horses, don't they?


Bottom Line

I believe the Piki perhaps has plenty of value if say you're buying a computer and have a list of essential features you need (like laptop, 17 inch, Pentium, 3.2 gig, 500 gb, under $500). It'd be a quick way to isolate the computers to consider. But as for rum?

No way. Absolutely no way.